Good evening, Sir. I start my first letter to you with the sweet memory of the serene days when the pen was the extension of my thoughts, guided in the shadows of the night, by the graceful dance of the candle’s flame. And this is how I make my first conscious human error, looking back, disregarding Sufism, ignoring in a masochistic act what Rumi so simple declared: “Past and Future veil God from our sight, burn up both of them with fire.” Fire of the intellect, fire of the Spirit, fire of desiring to embrace Now, as we all know that “the Past is history, the Future is mystery and the Present is a Gift”, thus its name of “present”.
The violin trembles in the hands with long, skinny fingers. The piano is keeping her company, enhancing the musical syllables. I started climbing again and I wonder, am I one of those poor souls who engage in this type of activity because it forces me into the Now? Am I searching for a bridge to this intensely state that’s free of time, free of problems, free of thinking, free of the burden of my, sometimes unbearable, personality? Search, ask, answer, connect. Live. Let die. Enjoy the endless moment of the eternal present. Carpe diem. If not Now, then when?
“Nobody who puts his hands to the plow and looks back is fit for the Kingdom of God.” And yet from the past we take big part of our knowledge. And project our future, our dreams. And yet, any lesson from the past becomes relevant when is applied now. As any planning, as well as working toward achieving a particular goal, has to be done now.
The memories are the misty air that fills the gap between the past and present, between years ago and today, between one hour ago and this exact second when you’re reading my scattered words.
I read with my eyes closed the following lines, it’s like I heard them before, it’s like I know them from the conscience of the first human to have ever stopped his time flow on the idea: “Stop trying to understand everything mentally. The mind cannot understand this, only You can.” – how many times you’ve experienced the knowledge of something without being able to explain why and how? How many times your instincts scream at you to do or don’t do certain things? How many answers you hold in you and have no question to attach them to?
“Nothing ever happened in the past; it happened in the Now. Nothing will ever happen in the future; it will happen in the Now.” It is so logical to think of the past as of a memory trace, stored in the mind of a former Now. The future is an imagined Now, a projection of the mind that bears different names, as given by each and everyone’s personality, call it a plan, a goal, a dream, an yet unconquered land.